Snecklifter RIP

A day off work but this isn't going to be a relaxing day off. Alarm goes off at the usual time and I accompany L and Doggo on an extended version of their morning run, taking in the pond and the park. We then meet Son to do a few papers.

By 8.30 we are at the swimming pool and I do 20 odd lengths of assorted strokes: - front crawl, breath stroke, doggy paddle, and freestyle drowning. The pool is very quiet, in fact for the last 15 minutes it's just L and me. The calm waters help my floundering and I feel that maybe I might, one day, crack the front crawl.

L is learning how to breathe bilaterally. Sounds a bit advanced to me and I know I'll regret asking but I do nonetheless enquire what this involves. L says she currently only breathes on one side, every other stroke. Apparently you are supposed to breathe every third stroke therefore alternating the side you breathe on. This, apparently, is useful in case you get some psycho splashing about at the side of you. I think this is something I'll save for another day. At the moment remembering to breathe without consuming half the pool is enough for me.

L warns me about the showers at this pool, there are only two of them in the Ladies. There used to be four but for some odd council reason, when they 'did up' the leisure centre they removed two of them. I find out that it is exactly the same situation in the Mens. There are two very posh showers but even with only three of us getting changed, there was a queue.

Then we go into town because I have promised to get L a sexy new dress for Christmas. As we cruise around the more upmarket dress shops we both cringe at the price tags and disagree a little on what we think suits her best but generally find common ground. One bonus is that I can legally check out other women to see what they are wearing and then relay this to L if I think their outfits would look good on her.

L tries some things on, which is good because I get to see her strip down to underwear several times. Well in some shops we do, in others they won't let me anywhere near the changing rooms. When this happens we go elsewhere, if L's modelling for me and I'm paying there's little point if I can't be involved. What are they afraid of, that we might shag in the changing rooms. Well yes of course we might but that's not to say they would probably still get the sale, isn't that what shops want, for you to spend money there. In the end, as we more of less expected, we do not come back with anything. Well that's not strictly true because L decides she wants me to show her the cycling shoes and pedals I want for Xmas. You see guys ask for simple outfits as presents. In the end we end up buying them, so that's me sorted for Xmas then.

Home and we have an hour and a half before we have to pick the kids up from school and then head north for our Lakeland weekend. It's 2pm, on a day off and shamefully we haven't found time to have sex yet. We hurriedly pack for our trip and have eggs on toast for lunch. Then we have a frantic half hour in the bedroom.

We collect the kids and then head up the M6 via traffic jams in Nottingham and Stoke and it's only 3.30. The kids are naturally bored in the car, Son's ipod is flat, and Daughter, who does not yet have her own ipod, has flattened L's. So they both take turns at reducing my fully charged ipod to the same state. Son repeatedly plays the few tracks familiar to him whereas Daughter probes the murkier depths of my playlists and skilfully homes in on all the tracks that would have been labelled 'Parental Advisory Explicit Lyrics'.

We get to our cottage, as expected, before our friends who were leaving at lunchtime, hours before us, but obviously didn't. We didn't believe they would.

The weekend forecast for the Lakes is Thunder, Heavy Rain, Gales, Wind Chill and sleet or snow possible at altitude. Hope it is correct because then it'll be a nice cosy romantic weekend, just L and me, the collie, Daughter, computer boy and our two friends.

I whip up a quick mixed bean chilli to feed us all, and then after our friends turn up we head to the local pub, where we'll be safe from the ping ping ping of computer games, and they have a roaring fire.

One thing I've been looking forward to for the past year, unfortunately it's been that long since we last managed to get up to the Lakes, is several pints of Jennings Snecklifter. When we get there the pub informs us they no longer sell any Jennings beers, the quality has been so poor since they were taken over by Wolverhampton & Dudley Breweries that they have stopped selling it. Bugger. 2 x Barngates Gold, 1 x some Scouse beer brewed in some chaps garage and 1 x Thwaites Lancaster Bomber have to do instead.

Eventful Day For A Dog

On the bus again even though I'm not currently very good at catching it. It involves getting up earlier than either the other options of bike or car. Luckily this morning the bus was later than I was. Get to work and we have another bike in our car park this morning, appears I have started a trend! One of the directors is cycling but his commute is only 5 miles. Ha!

L has done 44 lengths of the pool this morning; that is on top of her run with Doggo; and she calls me a psycho.

In the evening Doggo and I accompany Daughter to Guides but on the way Doggo got mugged. Just as we were ambling past two retrievers; all three dogs on the lead; the second dog started to snarl at Doggo; we had gone past the first one as if it wasn't there. Doggo naturally snarled back; usual dog 'handbags' sort of stuff but then the first dog grabbed Doggo from behind; locking his jaw on Doggo's back. Not sure if it was the kick I tried to administer to the dogs head or the fact Doggo then slipped his collar to fight back that made the dog let go. All very traumatic, although he seems fine, if a little shaken. The elderly couple whose dogs they were didn't know quite what to say. I too was speechless; what can you say.

To cap it all for Doggo; he got snarled at again by one of his class mates at agility class later that night. This isn't an unusual occurrence and is more posturing than anything else; they are best of enemies really. Didn't put him off his training though; both of us were brilliant tonight. Hope this form holds until our next event on 2nd December.

Told L to expect us back from training about midnight; as the trainer we have tonight does tend to go on a bit. Not that this is really cause for complaint; as it means we get more training for our money but it does make for a late night. However tonight he is forced to finish training on time. Therefore, we are home so early that L hasn't even got Doggo's water ready for him. He usually needs a pint or too after his night of sport; typical male I suppose.

L suggests going to bed early. Both me and Doggo spring to attention. Doggo has somewhere comfy to clean his sandy paws in mind; I have other more sordid thoughts. Grabbing L by the hand I propel her to the bedroom and push her onto the bed. Now on top of our bed is a fleece blanket that is supposed to keep the dog hair and grit off the bed. Doggo loves this blanket, he likes to drag is round the room between his legs; you know like dogs do. So here I am trying to relieve L of her jeans, while Doggo is trying to remove the blanket from under her; so that he can have his shag! Don't have a dog.