My Girl's Life Of Crime

On the bus again today, it was very late but there was no traffic so I was still on time for work.

I discover that I am sharing my life with a criminal. L informs me that she has been shopping in M&S on her boss's credit card. , She didn't actually go as far as forging his signature because the card wasn't signed. Isn't that alone illegal? Instead he had given her his pin code. Luckily the shop assistant appeared to be a bit dim, certainly too dim to rumble her. She tried to charge her £175 for 6 x £60 gift vouchers. I'm sure even Daughter, who's not known for her mathematical prowess, would have got closer than that.

L says she had a speech worked out in her head ready for the Police. Perhaps tonight I'll put her in handcuffs and find out just what she was going to say to the police. Personally if I was the arresting police officer I would let her use whatever bribery and corruption she thought was appropriate.

L seems to think that her possession of a D cup chest would have been enough to convince me. Admittedly that would have been a good start but I would have held out for more.

Pub lunch Cottage pie and Cottage Xmas Ale 4.5%. Very nice.

Our friends the gypsies are currently camped out at JJB Soccerdome, just down the road. I don't think they're actually on the football pitches, at least not yet. Apparently a court order has been served to evict them from tomorrow evening so to prevent a repeat of last week's incident they are putting a fence across the road to seal off our offices from Friday afternoon until Tuesday morning. Wonder where they'll surface next, keep a close eye on your back garden.

Apparently I'm on a promise for rampant sex tonight. Hope L's cold has cleared up; don't want her to suffocate while she's dishing out her bribery and corruption! All I've got to do is survive squash and the Victoria first.

I do survive squash, just. I go down 6-1, winning only the second game. Newby Wyke ale 3/9% in the pub afterwards and then a not very nice Bateman's 5% ale at home. That's a shame because we have a crate of 12 to get through.